Thursday, June 21, 2012

Using The Correct Terminology…

Using The Correct Terminology…

Warning the opinions here in are mine and mine alone. I stand by them and I don’t have to censor myself as this is my article and my blog and will post what I see fit to post.

Unless you have been living under a rock or your not a part of the LGBTQ Community or your not a personal friend of mine then you may have not yet been made aware of this problem. Mrs. Carmen Carrera, A former contested on the popular hit Drag Queen reality show RuPaul’s Drag Race. A show in which 12+ Professional Drag Queens compete in a verity of elimination challenges for the chance to be crowned Americas top Drag Queen. To find out more about Carmen or RuPaul’s Drag Race please check the links at the end of this article.

A few weeks ago Carmen appeared on a popular TLC cake-decorating program called ‘Cake Boss’ I have never cared for this program, I find the “stars” of this program to be obnoxious, arrogant, & self-centered. Carmen agreed to participate on this program to help play a practical joke one of the “stars” however before she agreed to join this practical joke Carmen had been reassured multiple times that there would be no rude, nasty or derogatory comments made towards her or the Transgender Community. Mrs. Carrera feels and fully accepts that she has become a Transgendered (for want of a better word) Ambassador, and it is her mission to only appear in an educational role that will show the Transgender Community in a good a positive light. Which she did very will in an episode of ‘What Would You Do?’ a hidden camera social experiment type of show that films the reaction of the surrounding people when faced with the prospect of someone being harassed for being who they are, whether that be LGBTQ, Muslim, or even an underage drunk college student being coerced into a strangers home, to name a few.

According to Carmen when filming wrapped everything was in order nothing derogatory had been said in her presents, it was not until the airing of the show on June 12th 2012 that the derogatory comment “That’s a man, baby” was discovered. After the airing of the program Carmen took to Facebook and Twitter to voice how disappointed and upset she was at the apparent deception on the part of the producers of the program, who reassured her that nothing like this would happen.

That night Carmen’s friends and fan’s alike took to the Internet with Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and other forums to get their support out to Carmen and to voice their outrage yours truly included. Which brings me to the point of this article, while voicing my support and outrage I came across a thread on Facebook where other fans were doing as I was and voicing their outrage and support. As I was commenting on what had happened a woman posted her comment and as I read it I became pissed beyond belief, here’s the jest of what she posted without posting every word of what she wrote, Carman is a man he appeared on RuPaul’s show as a man he was man on that show he, he, he, he, he. So being Transgender myself though obviously no where near the transition stage that Carmen is, I was still highly offended and off put by this blatant disregard for human decency that I could hardly control myself in my response to this so called human being.

I wrote, “First off Carmen Carrera is a Woman! Secondly I don’t give a rats ass what’s between someone legs, genitals have NOTHING to do with gender. Gender is in the brain and in the hormone producing glands. A Transgender Women is a Woman with or without a vagina. A Transgender Man is a Man with or without a dick. Lastly if you wish to be viewed as an intelligent, educated human being then in strongly implore you to use the correct pronouns when referring to a Transgender person. Carmen Carrera is a SHE not a he. SHE is a women not a man, SHE, SHE, SHE. Even though I am in the beginning stages of my transition from male to female my close friends and family had the human decency and respect to refer to me as She, Her, My Daughter, My Sister, Etc.”

So like I told this random woman I implore you as either members of the Transgender Community or as friends or family of Transgender people please, PLEASE use the correct terminology when talking to or referring to Transgender men or Transgender women. I would also like to say that TLC has pulled that episode from the AIR and has along with members of the Cake Boss team issued apologies to Carmen Carrera and the Transgender Community.

Thank you,

Carmen Carrera’s Links:
Articles/Interviews relating to this topic:

RuPaul/RuPaul’s Drag Race and Drag U Links:



Snippet from the offending episode of Cake Boss:

Choosing A Path…

Choosing A Path…

You know its funny how life works, for some people life is straightforward and everything falls into place for them, where as for people like me life is a lot harder. You go through life just trying to keep up with the tail end of the crowd just to be a mile behind everyone. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life even now I don’t know what I really want to do. Things are a lot clearer now that I have started on my path of Transition but at the same time the water seems deeper than it use to appear.

I truly want to move to Sweden to start my transition but at the same time a part of me, and this is not even including the bigger part of me that wants to stay with my friends and family, wants to say here in the US and work on a career that I did not think I could have up until 2 months ago which is being a Professional Drag Queen.

Even as I talk about it, it feels like my heart is pulling in both direction, one half towards doing Drag and the other have towards moving to Sweden. Sometimes I wonder what to do? Which way do I go? Then I think can I do both? Can I have a career as a Drag Queen and move to Sweden? Then I think YES! I can if it is something I really want to do and even if I cant do it in a club in Sweden I can do what I planned on doing here I have youtube, I have a computer, so once I get set up in Sweden and if it is still something I want to do with whatever “FREE TIME” I may have then your damn right I’m going to do it, I’ll be the best damn youtube Drag Queen that has ever graced the internet.

I think I’ll do that. Oh and if you didn’t know I use these Blog entries as a type of therapy as well as a journal of my thoughts. I use it to keep my mind clear and as a place that I can argue both sides of a situation without doing it muddled under my breath where people think I’m crazy.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Screw What "They" Want You To Do!!!…

Screw What "They" Want You To Do!!!…

I got some really good advice from one of my best friends in the whole world Mojo. She told me "Screw what "they" want you to do with your life. Who are "they"??? Do what YOU want to do with your life." She told me that what I want to do may change every year or even every day. She also said "So What? Do what you want."

She's right, she's always spot on with the advice she gives me. She says to live my life as I want it. Do what I want do this is my life, my incarnation, do whatever it is that I want to do that will get me closer to where and what I want my life to be, no matter how small the action is, every little bit gets me closer to my goal.

With everything that has happened in the last two months or so I told myself "there must be a reason for this to be occurring in my life" and I still believe that but what I'm losing faith in is a something that I have believed my whole life which is that are lives have predetermined goals. I'm not saying that our whole lives are predetermined just certain aspects of our lives are set in stone before we are incarnated.

I guess on some level I still believe that, just not the part about these goals being set in stone. I do believe that we have goals that WE predetermine each time before we are Reincarnated, and if WE don't meet those goals we can comeback and try again…

Anyways I got off on a tangent there for a moment… All in all I believe that my friend is right this is MY life I am the master map maker it is my choices in life that take me to the next steep so I will NOT relinquish control of MY life to the Powers that be. That being said the part about see where things go from here (which I posted in my last post) is something that I'm going to work on as well as my patience which is something that I have learned is something that ONE must work on continuously, in other words it's not something that you obtain and then you have it for ever you have to work to keep it.

Until Next Time…

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Where to go from here?…

Where to go from here?…

Over the last few months a lot has happened and changed in my life. I had made the decision to move to Sweden, then something happened and moving had become out of the question.

When moving stopped being an option I started back on my original plan to transition here in the US. I had found a gender therapist closer to me than the one I had originally found in orlando. Everything was in order I was supposed to start my therapy on May, 30th but the friday before our car dies completely. So I had no choice but to cancel my appointment which was devastating to me after all that time and so many let downs I found the light at the end of the tunnel as the say, just to be let down again.

So I put Sweden back on my list right at the top. I only told my parents just incase something happened to where I couldn't go again… But seeing the way things have been going. Plans falling through, no car. No job. No money. So this prompted me to put both moving to Sweden and Transitioning here at the top of my list. I'm waiting to see what the universe has in store for me, I give up trying to control my life. Its too hard and too depressing when plans fall through.

I really don't know what to do any more I've tried everything I know to steer my own life and I seem to just keep ending up back in the same place with nothing to show for my trying. So maybe if I let the universe take the controls maybe I just might get somewhere in life… At least I hope I do...