Thursday, June 21, 2012

Using The Correct Terminology…


Using The Correct Terminology…

Warning the opinions here in are mine and mine alone. I stand by them and I don’t have to censor myself as this is my article and my blog and will post what I see fit to post.

Unless you have been living under a rock or your not a part of the LGBTQ Community or your not a personal friend of mine then you may have not yet been made aware of this problem. Mrs. Carmen Carrera, A former contested on the popular hit Drag Queen reality show RuPaul’s Drag Race. A show in which 12+ Professional Drag Queens compete in a verity of elimination challenges for the chance to be crowned Americas top Drag Queen. To find out more about Carmen or RuPaul’s Drag Race please check the links at the end of this article.

A few weeks ago Carmen appeared on a popular TLC cake-decorating program called ‘Cake Boss’ I have never cared for this program, I find the “stars” of this program to be obnoxious, arrogant, & self-centered. Carmen agreed to participate on this program to help play a practical joke one of the “stars” however before she agreed to join this practical joke Carmen had been reassured multiple times that there would be no rude, nasty or derogatory comments made towards her or the Transgender Community. Mrs. Carrera feels and fully accepts that she has become a Transgendered (for want of a better word) Ambassador, and it is her mission to only appear in an educational role that will show the Transgender Community in a good a positive light. Which she did very will in an episode of ‘What Would You Do?’ a hidden camera social experiment type of show that films the reaction of the surrounding people when faced with the prospect of someone being harassed for being who they are, whether that be LGBTQ, Muslim, or even an underage drunk college student being coerced into a strangers home, to name a few.

According to Carmen when filming wrapped everything was in order nothing derogatory had been said in her presents, it was not until the airing of the show on June 12th 2012 that the derogatory comment “That’s a man, baby” was discovered. After the airing of the program Carmen took to Facebook and Twitter to voice how disappointed and upset she was at the apparent deception on the part of the producers of the program, who reassured her that nothing like this would happen.

That night Carmen’s friends and fan’s alike took to the Internet with Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and other forums to get their support out to Carmen and to voice their outrage yours truly included. Which brings me to the point of this article, while voicing my support and outrage I came across a thread on Facebook where other fans were doing as I was and voicing their outrage and support. As I was commenting on what had happened a woman posted her comment and as I read it I became pissed beyond belief, here’s the jest of what she posted without posting every word of what she wrote, Carman is a man he appeared on RuPaul’s show as a man he was man on that show he, he, he, he, he. So being Transgender myself though obviously no where near the transition stage that Carmen is, I was still highly offended and off put by this blatant disregard for human decency that I could hardly control myself in my response to this so called human being.

I wrote, “First off Carmen Carrera is a Woman! Secondly I don’t give a rats ass what’s between someone legs, genitals have NOTHING to do with gender. Gender is in the brain and in the hormone producing glands. A Transgender Women is a Woman with or without a vagina. A Transgender Man is a Man with or without a dick. Lastly if you wish to be viewed as an intelligent, educated human being then in strongly implore you to use the correct pronouns when referring to a Transgender person. Carmen Carrera is a SHE not a he. SHE is a women not a man, SHE, SHE, SHE. Even though I am in the beginning stages of my transition from male to female my close friends and family had the human decency and respect to refer to me as She, Her, My Daughter, My Sister, Etc.”

So like I told this random woman I implore you as either members of the Transgender Community or as friends or family of Transgender people please, PLEASE use the correct terminology when talking to or referring to Transgender men or Transgender women. I would also like to say that TLC has pulled that episode from the AIR and has along with members of the Cake Boss team issued apologies to Carmen Carrera and the Transgender Community.

Thank you,
*~*~*Cassandra*~*~*

Carmen Carrera’s Links:
Articles/Interviews relating to this topic:





RuPaul/RuPaul’s Drag Race and Drag U Links:
Facebook:

Twitter:

Websites:



Snippet from the offending episode of Cake Boss: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DWTgAIvl4A

Choosing A Path…


Choosing A Path…

You know its funny how life works, for some people life is straightforward and everything falls into place for them, where as for people like me life is a lot harder. You go through life just trying to keep up with the tail end of the crowd just to be a mile behind everyone. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life even now I don’t know what I really want to do. Things are a lot clearer now that I have started on my path of Transition but at the same time the water seems deeper than it use to appear.

I truly want to move to Sweden to start my transition but at the same time a part of me, and this is not even including the bigger part of me that wants to stay with my friends and family, wants to say here in the US and work on a career that I did not think I could have up until 2 months ago which is being a Professional Drag Queen.

Even as I talk about it, it feels like my heart is pulling in both direction, one half towards doing Drag and the other have towards moving to Sweden. Sometimes I wonder what to do? Which way do I go? Then I think can I do both? Can I have a career as a Drag Queen and move to Sweden? Then I think YES! I can if it is something I really want to do and even if I cant do it in a club in Sweden I can do what I planned on doing here I have youtube, I have a computer, so once I get set up in Sweden and if it is still something I want to do with whatever “FREE TIME” I may have then your damn right I’m going to do it, I’ll be the best damn youtube Drag Queen that has ever graced the internet.

I think I’ll do that. Oh and if you didn’t know I use these Blog entries as a type of therapy as well as a journal of my thoughts. I use it to keep my mind clear and as a place that I can argue both sides of a situation without doing it muddled under my breath where people think I’m crazy.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Screw What "They" Want You To Do!!!…


Screw What "They" Want You To Do!!!…

I got some really good advice from one of my best friends in the whole world Mojo. She told me "Screw what "they" want you to do with your life. Who are "they"??? Do what YOU want to do with your life." She told me that what I want to do may change every year or even every day. She also said "So What? Do what you want."

She's right, she's always spot on with the advice she gives me. She says to live my life as I want it. Do what I want do this is my life, my incarnation, do whatever it is that I want to do that will get me closer to where and what I want my life to be, no matter how small the action is, every little bit gets me closer to my goal.

With everything that has happened in the last two months or so I told myself "there must be a reason for this to be occurring in my life" and I still believe that but what I'm losing faith in is a something that I have believed my whole life which is that are lives have predetermined goals. I'm not saying that our whole lives are predetermined just certain aspects of our lives are set in stone before we are incarnated.

I guess on some level I still believe that, just not the part about these goals being set in stone. I do believe that we have goals that WE predetermine each time before we are Reincarnated, and if WE don't meet those goals we can comeback and try again…

Anyways I got off on a tangent there for a moment… All in all I believe that my friend is right this is MY life I am the master map maker it is my choices in life that take me to the next steep so I will NOT relinquish control of MY life to the Powers that be. That being said the part about see where things go from here (which I posted in my last post) is something that I'm going to work on as well as my patience which is something that I have learned is something that ONE must work on continuously, in other words it's not something that you obtain and then you have it for ever you have to work to keep it.

Until Next Time…
Cassandra

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Where to go from here?…



Where to go from here?…

Over the last few months a lot has happened and changed in my life. I had made the decision to move to Sweden, then something happened and moving had become out of the question.

When moving stopped being an option I started back on my original plan to transition here in the US. I had found a gender therapist closer to me than the one I had originally found in orlando. Everything was in order I was supposed to start my therapy on May, 30th but the friday before our car dies completely. So I had no choice but to cancel my appointment which was devastating to me after all that time and so many let downs I found the light at the end of the tunnel as the say, just to be let down again.

So I put Sweden back on my list right at the top. I only told my parents just incase something happened to where I couldn't go again… But seeing the way things have been going. Plans falling through, no car. No job. No money. So this prompted me to put both moving to Sweden and Transitioning here at the top of my list. I'm waiting to see what the universe has in store for me, I give up trying to control my life. Its too hard and too depressing when plans fall through.

I really don't know what to do any more I've tried everything I know to steer my own life and I seem to just keep ending up back in the same place with nothing to show for my trying. So maybe if I let the universe take the controls maybe I just might get somewhere in life… At least I hope I do...

Saturday, March 31, 2012

An Open Door….


A new door, or I should say a new opportunity has presented itself to me in recent days. This opportunity actually has to do with transitioning. I have come to find out that in the country of Sweden that once you are diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder you are then covered by the national health care system which covers everything with the exception of things that are consider cosmetic surgeries nose jobs, breast implants, things of that nature, though that being said im having a hard time find information on that outside of the once source that I have found.

With the exception of the prices for the cosmetic surgeries you would end up paying somewhere around $3,600.00 compare that to the $100,000.00 that I would pay here you can see the allure of becoming a Swedish citizen so you can transition… However I would be in a foreign country alone having a surgeries that will change my life forever, I would miss my friends but most of all I would miss my mom and dad you can see why im conflicted. On one had I could personally afford my transition, I would be living somewhere where I have wanted to live my whole life (i.e. Europe) but I would not have my family with me. What’s a person to do?

One thing I know for sure is that im going to have the surgery here in the US or in Europe…

There will be more on this topic to come as I figure things out …

Until my next entry,
Love Always,
Cassandra

Friday, March 30, 2012

Telling The World…


I’ve come out as trans to my parents and friends, which all went really well and I couldn’t be happier about that. Here’s how things went down… well it all started the last Saturday in February when my mom said “Andrew, what’s wrong?” to which I replied “nothing, why?” (Which wasn’t true I really wanting to tell her “Mom, Im transgender”) She said “nothing, you just seem like you want to say something that’s all.”

That follow Monday my mother had surgery to remove her gallbladder, the day after my mother had the operation (February 28, 2012) I was sitting on her bed watching TV with her and she asked again “Are you sure there’s nothing you want to tell me?” I replied “Mom if I tell you something do you promise that you will always love me and not be mad at me?” To which she said “Of course Andrew, you’re my child and I’ll love you no matter what, and I promise not to get mad” then I said “ok well the thing is my whole life I have always felt like a girl on the inside and I want to start the process of transitioning.”

We talked for a while after that and everything was ok; she also told me that she would work on my dad to see how he would react to the news…

On March 12, 2012 is the day I told my dad. I started by saying “Dad I need to tell you something, my whole life I have felt different on the inside than on the outside…” to which he interrupted me by saying “Andrew its ok I know and understand. I love you as you are and I will just have to get used to saying my daughter.” Then we hugged and that was that, I was so happy.

All the friends I told were fine with it as well no problems, I didn’t lose a friendship or nothing. I was happy about that too.

Until my next entry,
Love Always,
Cassandra

Monday, March 12, 2012

An Introduction to Cassandra


Hello and Welcome to my blog.

First off the let introduce myself, my name is… well that’s not the right; My Birth name is Andrew, however I will eventually be called Cassandra. You see I’m transgender and that’s what this whole blog is, it’s my journey through transition. Thus the name of the blog “A Life In Transition: The Journey form He to She”

Let me tell you my story…

            I like many other transgender men and women out there I knew around the age of 5 that there was something wrong with the way I was born. At the age of 7 I knew that I was a boy on the outside but that contradicted everything I felt on the inside. On the inside I was a 7-year-old little girl not a 7-year-old little boy!

            I always wanted to play with the girl toys, I wanted Barbie for Christmas, and I wanted to play dress up. I remember sneaking into my parents room when they went out and left my two older brother to watch me, I would go into their room and put on my mom’s shoes and her jewelry and I would just pretend that I was this little girl, and I remember being so happy. Most times my parents left the house again I would sneak in and dress up.

            As I grew older I begin to hear that I wasn’t the only little girl that was trapped in the body of a boy, I heard that there were thousands of us all over the world. I also learned that there were people out there that thought that people like me discussing, wrong, and mentally touched. Hearing this I decided to hold it in, suppress it the best I could.

            Around the age of 17 this feeling resurfaced (well that implies that the feeling had be suppressed and in fact it had not it was just under the surface poking its head up every now and again, but for wont of a better word I’ll go with resurfaced) and I thought to myself “I can accept the fact that I like other guys so I’m Gay!”

            I wasn’t being truthful with myself, by saying I was gay I thought that it would suppress that feeling again, but alas it didn’t. Then I came out to my parents as gay at the age of 22, on New Years Day to be precise. But that didn’t satisfy the feeling. I thought maybe I’ll just get a boyfriend and this will take my mind off the feeling…

            That didn’t work at all, I would sabotage any potential relationship I had one way or another. When I broke down and allowed myself to be in a relationship was 23 and to this guy I had lost my virginity to, but (without getting into to many details) I never once had an ejaculation with him, don’t get me wrong I was sexually satisfied, but never once did I ejaculate. Weather that’s part of be transgender or not, I have yet to find out but I will make an update as soon as I find out.

            Two weeks after that relationship ended in August of 2010 my grandmother passed away which was a big loss for me because she was one of my best friends. But her passing made me realize that life truly is two short but I wasn’t ready to transition, I guess you could say I was still in denial because I made the decision to become a drag queen; thinking that it would fully satisfied the desire. But that too had the opposite effect. In fact it made me more than ever want to transition, and that brings me here.

I’ve found a Gender Therapist in Orlando and once I get me (seasonal) job back here in a few weeks I’ll make my appointment to go a see her and hopefully soon after I’ll be going to the endocrinologist to start Hormone Replacement Therapy.

I’ll be using these blog posts as well as vlogs on my youtube channel which I will post the info once I get it up and running same for my website.

Until my next entry,
Love Always,
Cassandra